How it usually starts
Sometimes nursery, school or a health visitor raises it. Sometimes you do, after watching your child find things hard that other children seem to find easy. You know your child; the school’s view of the same child matters too, because assessments look for patterns across settings. A child who is calm at school and in pieces at home is a common pattern, and a real one. Say so.
The routes
Referrals for children can come from the GP, the school nurse, the SENCO, a health visitor (for under-fives) or a paediatrician already involved. Many areas now run a neurodevelopmental pathway with one referral form that asks for information from both home and school. Depending on the area and the condition, the assessment sits with child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS), community paediatrics or a multidisciplinary autism team. Ask which it is, and how long the wait is.
The school’s part
Schools are asked for questionnaires and often for observations. A school report that says “no concerns” can slow a referral down. Ask the school to describe what they see, even if it is not a problem for them, and ask what they are already doing to help. The SENCO is the person to talk to, and it is reasonable to ask for a meeting rather than a conversation at the gate.
Records worth keeping
Assessments ask for history, and memory fades. Keep:
- a dated log of examples (on your phone is fine);
- school reports and any letters from professionals;
- early milestones, from the red book if you still have it;
- notes on sleep, eating, friendships and routines;
- your own and your family’s history, because you will be asked about it.
Support that doesn’t wait for a diagnosis
In England, SEN support at school is needs-led: a child does not need a diagnosis to get it, and the SEND Code of Practice expects schools to identify and meet needs as they arise. If a child needs more than the school can provide, you (not only the school) can ask the local authority for an Education, Health and Care needs assessment, which can lead to an EHC plan. Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own systems (individual development plans, coordinated support plans and statements of special educational needs, respectively), and the charities in the sources explain each.
IPSEA offers free, independent legal advice on special educational needs in England. Contact supports families with disabled children across the UK.
The assessment day for a child
Tell your child the truth at their level: that they are going to meet people whose job is to understand how they think and learn, that it is not a test, and that nothing is wrong with them for going. Bring snacks, something to do while waiting, and comfort items. Autism assessments in particular may run across more than one appointment and involve more than one professional. The clinician will tell you what each visit is for.
After
There is usually a feedback appointment, then a report. Share it with school, and ask the SENCO what changes as a result. If ADHD medication is offered, the service manages titration, and school may be asked to help with doses or to report on the effect. Many areas run parent courses after diagnosis, and every local authority in England publishes a “local offer” listing what exists. Carer support exists too, and you are entitled to use it.
Looking after yourself
Assessment pathways are long, and the parent is usually the one holding everything together. Ask for help earlier than feels necessary. The help-now line at the bottom of every page is there for parents as much as anyone.
You are not asking for a label. You are asking for your child to be understood, and for the adults around them to agree on what helps.